Keys to Healthy Relationships

Three Keys to Healthy RelationshipsSliding vs. Deciding

Sliding versus deciding means people do best when they make decisions about important things in life rather than sliding through without thinking carefully.

One of the reasons why relationships and marriages have become harder for couples to make work is that people don’t make clear decisions together about what they’re doing or where they’re headed.  There are a lot of times in life when you can slide, or even just go with the flow to enjoy life.  But sometimes, what your commitment needs most are clear decisions that make it easier to follow through.  Deciding is better than Sliding.  Even when couples have slid through major transitions so far in their life, that doesn’t mean they can’t start making solid decisions together, in the present, about their future together.  It is never too late to decide what you want your commitment to be.

There are many ways to have a healthy relationship.  What’s important is that the couple decides together what that relationship will look like.  When a couple has made a decisions about important matters in life, they are more likely to have a strong sense of what they are about, and how to follow through, on bringing the future about.


Safety is the foundation for a healthy marriage.  No matter what you personally prioritize in marriage, there are a few things that lay the foundation for a great marriage.  These care elements of healthy and long-lasting marriages can all be thought of as three kinds of safety.

  • Physical Safety is freedom from fear of being harmed or threatened.
  • Emotional Safety is about being able to be yourself in your relationship.  Couples strengthen Emotional Safety by using healthy communication skills and techniques. Emotional Safety makes it “Safe to Connect” with your partner.
  • Commitment Safety is about knowing you have a future together. Without this type of safety, it's hard to work on making a relationship stronger. Commitment means making a choice to give up other choices.

Do Your Part

It’s best to focus on what is under your control and not to focus on what you can't do anything about.  There are many things we can’t change.  But there are many other things that we can actually change or do differently to improve our lives.  We can’t change our partners, but we can change ourselves.  Only your partner can change your partner.  You have to do your part and focus on what is under your control and what you can change yourself.

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