A Journey of Love and Hope: Lakin Funk's Open Adoption Story
At Catholic Charities of Southwest Kansas, stories like Lakin Funk's illuminate the profound impact of open adoption, not just on the adoptive family, but on the birth mother, her family, and everyone involved. Lakin's journey is one of courage, love, and selflessness—a testament to the transformative power of open adoption.
Finding the Right Path
Lakin Funk's journey began in Great Bend, Kansas, where she spent her formative years. Her path took her through college and into the dairy industry in South Dakota, until an unexpected pregnancy brought her back home. Reflecting on her decision to pursue adoption, Lakin shared, "I knew that I needed to do what was best for the baby, not necessarily me. It's not that I didn't want to care for the baby or that I wouldn't love the baby. I just knew that there was somebody or a couple out there that could give the baby more than I would ever be able to."
The idea of adoption was not foreign to Lakin; her mother, Monique, was also adopted through Catholic Charities. With her mother's encouragement, Lakin reached out to the agency. "When I was thinking about adoption, of course my mom and I were talking, and she was the one who said, 'well, just reach out to Catholic Charities'," Lakin recalled. This marked the beginning of a life-changing journey.
Building a Connection
Working with Lori Titsworth, an Adoption Social Worker at Catholic Charities, was pivotal for Lakin. "It was honestly nothing but the best," Lakin said of her experience. Lori's support extended beyond the logistics of adoption. "She's like another mother to me," Lakin expressed, highlighting the deep bond they formed. "She worked with me through and through from the beginning and made sure that adoption is really what I wanted to choose and the route that I wanted to go before we proceeded with anything. She did very well at preparing me for not only the adoption process, but also what life is going to be like after. She's there for me every step of the way from the beginning to the end. Even now, over a year later, she's still right there for anything. I know I've shed a lot of tears with her, but she's somebody that I can always count on and look up to, and she's a text or a phone call or even just a visit away."
Lakin's decision was made easier by her relationship with Louis and Amy, the adoptive parents she chose for her son. Reflecting on their first meeting, Lakin shared, "Well, I was obviously very nervous and had no idea what to expect at first, but the moment I met them, I kind of had this instant feeling that I knew they were the ones. I mean, the second my mom and I walked in the door, they both greeted me with warming hugs and comfort. And I know they were both very nervous and excited as well, but they never made it uncomfortable. Just being able to sit there and talk to one another and ask questions and just get to know more about each other was just like having a normal conversation and just getting to know that we had multiple things in common. I mean, just all of the outdoors and the stuff that we both enjoy. I just knew."
The connection was immediate and genuine, with shared interests and values. "I kind of almost had a feeling that I knew they were the ones just by reading their profile before I had really even met them. They're very laid back and open and let me kind of lead the way," Lakin noted, appreciating their supportive approach.
Her relationship with Louis and Amy began months before William was born. "They texted me almost every other day, checking on me, seeing if I needed anything," Lakin shared. "They came to 95% of the doctor's appointments with me." Their proactive involvement helped solidify Lakin's decision, providing a sense of comfort and assurance.
Embracing Open Adoption
The emotional journey reached its peak when Lakin gave birth to William. Up until that point, the reality of the situation had not fully sunk in. "It wasn't really challenging for me until after I had William, because still, the whole way through, I could never really wrap my head around what was actually really happening," she confessed. However, the moment William arrived, everything changed. It was a profoundly emotional day. Despite the overwhelming emotions, Lakin remained steadfast in her decision. She recalled, "It obviously didn't hit me until I had him, and then I was like, 'wow, I am a mother'; and 'wow, is adoption really the way I want to go now?' But I just had to keep telling myself and keep reminding myself that I had made a great decision, and I know I'm doing this for him and not for me, and I know he's going to have a great outlook in life."
The open adoption allowed Lakin to maintain a meaningful relationship with her son and his adoptive parents. "They've been very open and willing to let me be involved in his life, and I honestly can't thank them enough because I know they don't have to do that. But just from even leaving the hospital, I mean, we hadn't even been gone from the hospital an hour, and they were already texting me and checking in on me and sending me pictures," Lakin shared. From attending William's baptism to being invited to family gatherings, Lakin has been able to remain a part of William's life. "My mom and I went to his baptism. They also invited my mom and I to his first birthday party. And I think it was really special because at the baptism and birthday party, we got to meet their family, and they're all very welcoming. I didn't even know a single soul, and they all came up to me, hugging me and thanking me."
A Legacy of Love
Lakin's story is not just one of adoption, but one of family, resilience, and love. Her mother, Monique, played a crucial role, supporting Lakin with the wisdom of her own adoption experience. "She was very supportive because she knew what it was like to not have an open adoption," Lakin said, highlighting the generational impact of adoption within her family. "I don't remember where she had to go, but she had to go and buy her birth certificate and to be able to find out who her actual birth parents were. And so she just liked the relationship that I had with the adoptive parents and wished nothing but the best."
"Even if you wanted to change your mind, your mom was going to support you in that, too," Lori Titsworth recalled. “I think that spoke volumes for her, your relationship with her and the love she had for you and William. After all, she was looking at her first grandchild and the only other person she has a biological connection with besides you."
Reflecting on the journey, Lori Titsworth continued, "I was just impressed with you that at your age, you could make such a decision. You stuck by your decision. You processed things when things got hard and you owned it, and you still do. I'm just proud of the person you were and who you've become since." Lakin's courage and determination have not only enriched her own life but have also educated and inspired those around her about the possibilities and blessings of open adoption.
Lakin Funk's journey through open adoption is a powerful testament to the enduring bonds that such a path can create. Her story is one of hope, highlighting the possibilities that arise when love and selflessness guide difficult decisions. As Lakin continues to be a part of William's life, her journey encourages others to consider open adoption as a compassionate option that honors all involved.
If you or someone you know is considering adoption, or if you would like to support the transformative work of Catholic Charities of Southwest Kansas in creating loving families, we invite you to learn more and get involved. By supporting our mission, you can help provide hope and fulfillment to others walking this path. Contact us today to find out how you can make a difference in the lives of children and families in our community.