Pregnant at 19, Allie Chose Open Adoption

birth mother, adoptive mother and child

I know there have been stories like mine and women who have been where I’ve been. I haven't met many birth mothers, but . . . we don't exactly wear a label on our shirts do we? I was the age of 19 when I found out I was pregnant.

I remember I was scheduled to have my first college freshman final that morning, but instead I took a different kind of test. My knees hit the floor, I became numb and tears rolled down my cheeks from mixed emotions. My parents were shocked when I was finally able to share my news. It took a while to adjust to how my life was going to change. I was going to HAVE A BABY. A BABY! How could I have a baby when I felt like I was just a child myself?! I lost my faith for a while I won't deny that. Depression set in, I stopped eating like I should and I cried myself to sleep night after night. Then one night as I lay in bed I began to pray. I hadn't prayed in months, but I slept more soundly that night.

My family and I prayed over an option that seemed so very unclear but right all at the same time. Adoption. I ultimately didn't go through an adoption agency. However, I did look at many different couples at some agencies, but I just couldn't find the right fit. My uncle knew of a couple trying to get pregnant but because of infertility problems they were unable to conceive. At the time as I was pouring over couples they were fostering 3 children. As they were preparing to adopt, the children’s biological family regained custody. This couple was crushed and heart broken. They decided to get away for a weekend to regroup and figure out what was to come next. As they prayed at church they asked God to open a door because they were so very ready to give up. The afternoon they were headed back home they received a phone call from my uncle telling them that I had a baby for them and that I wanted to meet them. The moment I met them it was like meeting long lost family. We clicked and I knew they were meant to be baby C's parents.

birth mother and childWhen I decided to place my birth son, the last thing I did was give up. I chose adoption in the middle of my pregnancy because I knew he needed a mom AND a dad. He needed a good Christian home to grow up in. He needed so much more than I could ever give him. Don't get me wrong; I was terrified of this decision because I knew it meant living without my son. It meant placing him before myself.

I knew that if I didn't make this decision, my life wouldn't be the same. I’m not saying that it would be terrible, but just different. I may not have met my sweet husband. I may not have the faith I have today, nor would I be able to write about being a birth mother. I wouldn't know the two most amazing people that I get to call my birth son's parents. Not making the decision to place would mean I couldn't spoil him like I get to by being his birth mother - that's my favorite part!

The day I placed my birth son into the arms of his parents was the day I became a birth mom. The day I placed my birth son was the day his parents became a mommy and daddy. You share your title as mother with another woman along with a bond no one else understands. I knew that placing meant being in the presence of true love. Placing means taking an unplanned situation and turning it into a gift for everyone. 

birth mother and childI placed my birth son. That never meant he was unloved or unwanted. He was prayed for before he was born by so many people. Our amazing God turned a mess into a message. Before they left with him, his mom and I shared an embrace that is almost impossible to describe. It was a bonding of two women who became moms in very different ways and were joined together by a very BIG love, and tiny little boy.

We will forever be linked in a unique and unforgettable way. I love her for the way she loves my birth son, and she loves me for the irreplaceable gift I gave her and her husband. To this day when she and I hug it is a hug built on love, trust and motherhood. It is a way of silently thanking each other and praising God for what He was done for us.

Source: BraveLove

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